have you ever thought about how weird sleeping is like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats then spend the next few hours completely comatose all the while hallucinating vividly
I swear, I’ve never been more comfortable in my own skin, than when ours is touching. You make me feel so loved, so beautiful, so needed. You’re my soulmate, and I’ve never loved anything like I love you. Its only been a year, but it feels so much longer, yet it seems like its gone so fast.
Today was marvelous. Being with you, picnicking, sleeping, playing. It was all wonderful. The fire of your skin on mine, the most beautiful feeling I’ve ever felt. The heat of your lips, tracing every inch. I love you so much more than any words could match.
I spent two hours cleaning the house and debating whether or not to kill myself before you got home. You get home and yell at me for cleaning, and decide my plans for tomorrow are cancelled? Okay. Thanks. Maybe I’ll cancel the rest of my life. I just won’t wake up tomorrow.
I forgot how much I actually cannot stand my mother. She ruins my day every single day. She screams and cusses at me for literally no reason? She takes all her anger out on me. Its not my fault you have arthritis and you’re paranoid. Don’t take out out on me. Its not my fault you have so much stress, try getting rid of your chickens and fish and garden and all that shit. There are only two of us. There’s only so much we can do. And stop fucking screaming at me everyday on the way to school. Jfc. You make me feel like shit every morning.
Maybe I’ll “leave you alone” enough when I finally kill myself.
Also you didn’t ask if I was okay. Or how scared I was. Or if I did my lantus.
I’ll just assume it was coz you were tired. Sigh.
I don’t understand why its not important to you if I’m scared. Any other negative feeling, and you’ll stay up all night with me. But whenever I’m scared, you just go “lol sorry its your fault for watching the scary thing ” like. No.
Would you do the same for my self harm? “Oh Ur leg hurts? Well lol sorry Ur fault” .
I have an over active imagination, and I get paranoid and panicked when I’m scared. I go from frightened, to terrified in a matter of minutes. I wish you’d care when I was scared.
i. need. to. cut.
I know you used to feel
Like all the pretty girls had pretty names.
All the cute girls have cute names.
And you were just
People with extraordinary names
Or uncommon names
Are the ones who are the most
The most uncommonly beautiful.
And you dear
Have quite a different name
Just as you have a very different
You’re absolutely stunning
And I adore your name
Even if its a bit hard to say
I’ll think what I may.